Skillz954
01-23-2007, 02:11 PM
This is funny as hell......for all of you familiar with cougars!!
http://www.backcountry.com/store/newsletter/s36/a377/Cougar-Hunting-The-Ultimate-Score.html?CP=Email&CMP=EMC-Content&ATT=1CcA3&gcid=C2000x068-1CcA3&mv_pc=r202
for those who can't see the link:
The word cougar has an ambiguous meaning. In recent years, it has taken on a new definition. The urban cougar is an older woman that hunts her prey. They are ‘sophisticated’ ladies generally with some serious cash in pursuit of younger men. The term is something that most women despise and all men embrace. All in all, it’s a compliment that some ladies can age phenomenally. The ultimate question is who is hunting who? It has been implied that these older women hunt prey. Although this may be true, like any dating scene there is still a matter of effort that needs to be displayed on the male’s part, as an act of reciprocation.
These urban cougars have been known to frequent certain social clubs and bars. Like most hunters, men need to know where these women spend their time. With a little reconnaissance and a bit of effort, you too can obtain a license and tags or the necessary requirements to become the prey to cougars within a ski town.
Approach:
Most hunters wear camouflage and like to spray some deer urine on their attire with hopes to educe game. Men need only to decorate themselves with 'old school' cologne. New aged scents are almost untraceable by the cougar. They are too old to react to Axe Body Spray. They pick up the scents of old school colognes like Drakkar, Cool Water, Braun, and Agua Velva. As for attire, you need only wear what you feel is comfortable. Don’t hit the extreme; remember that these ladies went to high school before you were born, so their sense of style is open to new things, yet understanding of sophistication. A little ‘steez’ or ‘ruggedness’ cannot hurt; older women are into new things especially since most of the men that they have ever dated continually tuck in their shirts and have some sort of hair product in. So, wear the beanie or tilt the brim of your hat, but avoid going overboard.
Cougars are a volatile bunch. A Coug can reel you in and the next thing you know, you discover that her husband was the guy that told you to turn to the left and cough twice. Never pursue a woman who knows the guy that has examined your body more than she has. Follow these principles...
Principles to Courting a Cougar:
Always check for the wedding ring.
Although, there are alleged glory stories of women discretely pulling a wedding ring off there fingers on the dance floor, these are myths that only happen in movies.
Once you have established contact, don’t be afraid to lie.
“I skied for the US team”
“I am __+5 years old”
No name dropping
To them, the X-games are evil phone messages that they leave on their ex-husbands voicemail.
If they don’t have a gold medal around their neck, they’ve never heard of em.
You must buy them a glass of wine
Chivalry still runs deep within the cougar’s blood
Invest in the company now and in mere hours, you may find yourself in a hot tub overlooking your crappy residence.
Sightings:
Park City, Utah-
Park City is a Mecca for all cougars. Almost every ski town dive bar of the past has been transformed into a profligate night club to cater to the cougar. In recent months, two places have become established cougar dens, the Spur and the Sidecar. These night clubs are conveniently located across the street from one another, so if you fail at the Spur, you can always check your coat at the Sidecar and begin round two.
Ketchum, Idaho-
Sun Valley is another cougar town with a skiing problem. Whiskey Jack's has a corral of older hotties.
Jackson, Wyoming-
In Jackson, the loaded ones tend to stay in Teton Village at the Snake River Lodge and Spa or the Four Seasons, but if you want to score a real cowgirl cougar, you are going to have to hit up, "the Virge" (the Virginian Saloon). Throw some 'Heart' or 'Faith Hill' (for the slow song square dance) on the jukebox if you want to tango. Beware, these cougs can drink you under the table and that is never a good thing.
Cougar Den Commandments:
Host live music almost every night
No cougar had a DJ at their prom. DJs play tunes that exceed the allocated rhythm standard of these women.
Always be prepared to dance like you are dancing with your aunt at a wedding. Having good dance moves can almost hurt your game. These ladies need to feel as though they are still ‘hip.’
Dim Lighting is a must
Some drink a lot to acquire beer goggles. Dark lighting turns beer goggles into contacts. You need only walk into the bar, rather than drink yourself silly to enhance the beauty and age of those around you.
Refuge
These bars must have a dance floor with a near by refuge of couches.
The refuge is where your game needs to be on point. If you get one on one time in the refuge, you need to prove yourself and your passion for skiing or riding.
Like most politicians, you need only to lie in order to move from candidate to cougar club membership.
The Shot Ski
The shot ski was invented and created on the set of Aspen Extreme. It is a classic ski with shot glasses glued to it. It’s the ultimate novelty in a ski town. Any cougar den has one or knows where to find one.
Legend has it that there was a scene cut out of Aspen Extreme, with TJ Burke and the quintessential cougar, Bryce Kellogg, performing the first ever documented ‘shot ski’ shot.
Although you may never need to call upon the services of the shot ski, it is always comforting to know that it is there.
http://www.backcountry.com/store/newsletter/s36/a377/Cougar-Hunting-The-Ultimate-Score.html?CP=Email&CMP=EMC-Content&ATT=1CcA3&gcid=C2000x068-1CcA3&mv_pc=r202
for those who can't see the link:
The word cougar has an ambiguous meaning. In recent years, it has taken on a new definition. The urban cougar is an older woman that hunts her prey. They are ‘sophisticated’ ladies generally with some serious cash in pursuit of younger men. The term is something that most women despise and all men embrace. All in all, it’s a compliment that some ladies can age phenomenally. The ultimate question is who is hunting who? It has been implied that these older women hunt prey. Although this may be true, like any dating scene there is still a matter of effort that needs to be displayed on the male’s part, as an act of reciprocation.
These urban cougars have been known to frequent certain social clubs and bars. Like most hunters, men need to know where these women spend their time. With a little reconnaissance and a bit of effort, you too can obtain a license and tags or the necessary requirements to become the prey to cougars within a ski town.
Approach:
Most hunters wear camouflage and like to spray some deer urine on their attire with hopes to educe game. Men need only to decorate themselves with 'old school' cologne. New aged scents are almost untraceable by the cougar. They are too old to react to Axe Body Spray. They pick up the scents of old school colognes like Drakkar, Cool Water, Braun, and Agua Velva. As for attire, you need only wear what you feel is comfortable. Don’t hit the extreme; remember that these ladies went to high school before you were born, so their sense of style is open to new things, yet understanding of sophistication. A little ‘steez’ or ‘ruggedness’ cannot hurt; older women are into new things especially since most of the men that they have ever dated continually tuck in their shirts and have some sort of hair product in. So, wear the beanie or tilt the brim of your hat, but avoid going overboard.
Cougars are a volatile bunch. A Coug can reel you in and the next thing you know, you discover that her husband was the guy that told you to turn to the left and cough twice. Never pursue a woman who knows the guy that has examined your body more than she has. Follow these principles...
Principles to Courting a Cougar:
Always check for the wedding ring.
Although, there are alleged glory stories of women discretely pulling a wedding ring off there fingers on the dance floor, these are myths that only happen in movies.
Once you have established contact, don’t be afraid to lie.
“I skied for the US team”
“I am __+5 years old”
No name dropping
To them, the X-games are evil phone messages that they leave on their ex-husbands voicemail.
If they don’t have a gold medal around their neck, they’ve never heard of em.
You must buy them a glass of wine
Chivalry still runs deep within the cougar’s blood
Invest in the company now and in mere hours, you may find yourself in a hot tub overlooking your crappy residence.
Sightings:
Park City, Utah-
Park City is a Mecca for all cougars. Almost every ski town dive bar of the past has been transformed into a profligate night club to cater to the cougar. In recent months, two places have become established cougar dens, the Spur and the Sidecar. These night clubs are conveniently located across the street from one another, so if you fail at the Spur, you can always check your coat at the Sidecar and begin round two.
Ketchum, Idaho-
Sun Valley is another cougar town with a skiing problem. Whiskey Jack's has a corral of older hotties.
Jackson, Wyoming-
In Jackson, the loaded ones tend to stay in Teton Village at the Snake River Lodge and Spa or the Four Seasons, but if you want to score a real cowgirl cougar, you are going to have to hit up, "the Virge" (the Virginian Saloon). Throw some 'Heart' or 'Faith Hill' (for the slow song square dance) on the jukebox if you want to tango. Beware, these cougs can drink you under the table and that is never a good thing.
Cougar Den Commandments:
Host live music almost every night
No cougar had a DJ at their prom. DJs play tunes that exceed the allocated rhythm standard of these women.
Always be prepared to dance like you are dancing with your aunt at a wedding. Having good dance moves can almost hurt your game. These ladies need to feel as though they are still ‘hip.’
Dim Lighting is a must
Some drink a lot to acquire beer goggles. Dark lighting turns beer goggles into contacts. You need only walk into the bar, rather than drink yourself silly to enhance the beauty and age of those around you.
Refuge
These bars must have a dance floor with a near by refuge of couches.
The refuge is where your game needs to be on point. If you get one on one time in the refuge, you need to prove yourself and your passion for skiing or riding.
Like most politicians, you need only to lie in order to move from candidate to cougar club membership.
The Shot Ski
The shot ski was invented and created on the set of Aspen Extreme. It is a classic ski with shot glasses glued to it. It’s the ultimate novelty in a ski town. Any cougar den has one or knows where to find one.
Legend has it that there was a scene cut out of Aspen Extreme, with TJ Burke and the quintessential cougar, Bryce Kellogg, performing the first ever documented ‘shot ski’ shot.
Although you may never need to call upon the services of the shot ski, it is always comforting to know that it is there.